December 21 winter solstice 2023

Essays from Winter Solstice 2023

The key to what? Winning.

What is the only thing that is real?

Love.

To spend my life focused on what my ex has done in order to make it stop physically, technically, spiritually, because his offense is in all three of these areas, would be self-defeating. Using battle to end all battles is a paradox, and impossible. It won’t happen. War does not end war. Peace ends war.

I have just reread what I have written, and I feel putrid. I wish I had a different story to tell.

Why do we have war? To fight evil.

Why is there evil? Tension.

The tension of the muscle makes the bone strong. Without muscle, we would all be spaghetti.

Evil is explicit in its spelling. It is the opposite of LIVE. To Live is goodness. It is light. It is moral because it move

December 21 winter solstice 2023

Essays from Winter Solstice 2023

Essay 1

The Winter Solstice is when the light of the god returns to the goddess. The seed of light is planted in the goddess, the hope for the future spring, the birth of the god. We are celebrating return of hope in the coldest longest night.

Because of the things that happened in my life, I needed to have a husband before I had a lover.

I needed a husband to cover and protect me from the husband I had married and divorced, I told myself. Perception is everything.

People would tell me that I am ALLOWING my ex to have control over me. I have to quit ALLOWING IT. But I have never been given an explicit way to stop allowing it.

Denial. That is the only way to stop allowing it, denial. It may still be happening, but hey, not if you don’t Acknowledge it….

Denial that he has harassed and stalked me in life as well as online. He has kept me from prospering every chance he could. How? Well, he invaded my privacy, hacked my phones and kept track of my plans in order to keep me from doing them, from being who I truly am. He did my plans himself, and then protected it with identity theft. Google doesn’t believe I am me.

It makes him look good. In HIS mind, he has decided that his self-esteem resides in my bad reputation. He thinks when I look bad, he looks good. He literally prevented me from making art stores to sell my art, he made them himself, and then I was guilty of plaigerizing myself, as an artist, i could not publish my own work. After he published my work, he made the galleries think I was publishing my art, and they stopped selling my originals. But I could never see this online. He hid it. He may have pretended to have stores online to show the galleries and designers so they wouldn’t use my work anymore. They don’t use original art that has been published in their interior designs. This ruined my career as an artist. Nobody bought my work.

But its my fault because I did not stop him.

Well, the police did not believe me when I took my computer over to them to show it had been hacked and someone had sent to my ex’s email, digital files of my art. The police said the little pop-up saying access to my files was given, was not proof that he took it. Even though the pop up said “Sent to REB@gmail.” I did not even know my ex’s email, so I did not do it.

They did nothing to help me. They did not confront him and get my files. They did not open an investigation. They did nothing. I don’t even have proof I took my laptop to the police, they did not even make a report. No picture was taken of the screen. I have lost the computer in pawn. So I can’t even show you the files that were hacked.

I was screwed.

I will never own another PC or Android.

But denial is not really the method I use to stop allowing my ex to manipulate me. It is the firm resolution of what is real. I think that is the key. Acknowledge only what is real.

The key to what? Winning.

What is the only thing that is real?

Love.

To spend my life focused on what my ex has done in order to make it stop physically, technically, spiritually, because his offense is in all three of these areas, it would be self-defeating. Using battle to end all battles is a paradox, and impossible. It won’t happen. War does not end war. Peace ends war.

Love is the only thing that is real, and what is not of love will burn in the age to come.

I have just reread what I have written, and I feel putrid. I wish I had a different story to tell.

Why do we have war? To fight evil.

Why is there evil? Tension. Without tension our bones would be spaghetti. It is the strength of the muscle that determines the strength of the bone.

Evil is explicit in its spelling. It is the opposite of LIVE. To Live is goodness. It is light. It is moral because it moves forward in positivity, producing more Life, producing more Love.

Moral = More All.

I Am All in All.

Darkness is the beginning of life. It is where life starts. It is an incubator. It is a swath of protective shield to the vulnerability of infancy. It is the womb. Darkness cannot be equated with evil.

Evil’s so-called darkness is not darkness, but ignorance.

To be evil is ignorant, because it is destructive to what it needs to exist. You can’t be evil if you are dead. You can’t be selfish. Or greedy. Or mean, or abusive. You can’t poison the soil and have healthy food to eat. Unless you made the antidote to the poison and you just are not sharing it.

Bill Gates wants to poison the world. He thinks that he doesn’t need us anymore, and we are just old baggage. We are old flab that he doesn’t need anymore, and he wants liposuction.

He wants to get rid of what made him rich. But if he does that, he won’t know have the comparison of our poverty to shine his richness against. That’s what poor people are good for, so the rich can gloat about how rich they are. So they can feel rich.

If they get rid of the poor, they won’t be able to feel rich. They will just feel normal, and then what would they do?

It’s like the umbilical cord. After birth the umbilical is still full of nutrients for the baby. The doctor squeezes all that life into the baby and cuts off the umbilical cord to throw it away.

Bill Gates has a new baby, and it must be AI. And then what will Bill Gates do? He is 80-something years old, right? What is he going to do? Is he going to live forever? Did he create the fountain of youth? And he wants to get rid of poor people anymore because they don’t have anymore nutrients, and then he is going to live forever….

What is evil? Actions that counteract Life. That oppose life.

Death is a phase of life. Death necessary for rebirth. It takes death to nourish the soil so seeds can die in it and release the living plant within it. Death is not an action that counteracts life.

Murder is an act that causes death. The act of murder, taking life without just cause like self-defense, is evil.

Jesus said if someone hits you in the face, turn to him the other cheek. Meaning, let them hit you again on the other side. Don’t resist their violence. Don’t fight. Don’t wage war against war.

But if someone were trying to murder him what would he have done? Oh yeah, he was murdered. He did not resist. He turned the other cheek. He let them kill him. But he kept saying “I Am the Resurrection and the Life”….

I contend that if Jesus had reacted with self-defense, he would not have been able to rise from the dead. He would not have been able to show us the Way.

I can turn the other cheek, in fact, I did. There was no way to stop my ex anyway, why try to resist? I had to spend my energy in protecting what I could, my mind, my heart, so I could survive this. Defending myself was impossible.

I have been so poverty stricken, I could not defend myself, or my reputation.

Money is a shelter. Money can defend without violence. But greed is violent.

I have to get my own Identity Theft Protection, if they will protect me. Then maybe, I will be recognized online as a real human, and be able to take back my art.

In the meantime, don’t let this happen to you